True Funny News Stories

Here you will find my true funny news stories.

Funny Dreams

Date: October 18/06

Every morning I wake up from amazing dreams. Sure when people go to sleep, they dream about what they want in life. One million dollars is a good example, but my dreams are more exciting.

In a dream I had this morning (I went to bed after 12am, so it’s considered morning) I was driving on a bridge and another car pulled to my side. He wanted me to lower my window so he can say something.

I lowered my window and he said “muAHAHAHA.. See you later!” then drove off the bridge and killed himself.

After I woke up, one thing came to mind..

“Is that the secret to life?”

The Blind Date

Date: August 15/06

I went on a blind date.. and had no idea what she was going to look like.

Why do they call it a blind date anyways? Is the date suppose to be blind? Experts say it’s because you have no idea what the date will look like.

So if that’s true, there’s a good chance my date could have been either

• A horse

• Man who likes other men

• Michael Jackson

If it was M.J. the attraction wouldn’t be there.. since I’m not a 10 year old.

What if my blind date ended up being a guy holding a dozen roses? I'd hope I’m not the one he’s waiting for.

Well that’s the type of person I saw and he was waiting for me.

Why can’t I ever have a hot blind date like the ones on the scripted TV series “Blind Date?”

That explains why the women on that show are always hot with big knockers. Because it’s scripted. This is for the male readers. Would you ever watch a blind date show which featured women with no good features?

So for my next blind date, I will try to be on the TV show. I think I would qualify since I not only like women with big "knockers" but I'm great at reading and memorizing scripts as well.