Online Dating Profile Tips

This funny article is entitled Online Dating Profile Tips. Here I give the breakdown on how to create an amazing non effective internet dating profile.

FOR GUYS

1. First you must tell the ladies you have tons of money… After all, money buys stuff. Even a motel room if you’re still living with mommy and daddy.
2. Include some hypnosis to increase your success rate. A prime example is “YOU LIKE ME… YOU REALLY LIKE ME…” repeat that about 3 times throughout the profile.
3. Include a picture of yourself with friends. It shows you’re not a freak who stalks strange perverted people who reek of bad body odor. If you've got no friends, include a picture with your parents and mention they’re your billion dollar friends. It shows you got connections.
4. Show you're adventurous. Display a picture of yourself jumping off a chair.
5. Flex your muscles. There’s no better way to show your originality than to flex your arms. Be even more original... Wear a skin tight tank top while at it!
6. Make it absolutely positively known that you’re a complete bad boy.
7. Seven is my lucky number!
8. Show a picture of you sleeping and include profile text which says “Why are you spying on me sleeping? Why are you stalking me?? I don’t date stalkers!” That way when you get no messages, you’ll know everyone's a stalker. Welcome to the online dating world!

FOR GIRLS

1. Show cleavage