Online Dating Profile Tips

This funny article is entitled Online Dating Profile Tips. Here I give the breakdown on how to create an amazing non effective internet dating profile.

FOR MEN

1. First you must tell the ladies you have tons of money. After all, money buys stuff. Even a motel room if you’re still living with mom and dad.
2. Include some hypnosis to increase your success rate. A prime example is “YOU LIKE ME… YOU REALLY LIKE ME…” Repeat that about 3 times throughout the profile.
3. Include a picture of yourself with friends. It shows you’re not a freak who stalks people. If you got no friends, include a picture with your parents and mention they’re your billion dollar friends. It shows you got connections.
4. Prove you're adventurous. Display a picture of yourself jumping off a chair.
5. Flex your muscles. There’s no better way to show your originality than to flex your arms. Be sure to wear a tank top.
6. Make it absolutely positively known that you’re a bad boy.
7. Show a picture of you sleeping and include profile text which says “Why are you spying on me? Why are you stalking me?? I don’t date stalkers!” That way when you get no messages, you’ll know everyone's a stalker.

FOR WOMEN

1. Show cleavage