Im Winning

Here's some great news, Im winning! Charlie Sheen ain't the one who's winning anymore. I am!

Paying less for gas. Now that's what you call WINNING!

• Getting $25 off a new car - WINNING

• Being taller than every character on Jersey Shore - WINNING

• Replacing the Iphone with a flip phone - WINNING

• Using regular fuel in a car which takes premium - WINNING

• Got steaks at half price - WINNING

• Unable to find women who are emotionally available - WINNING

• Knowing more about the car than the one who's selling it - WINNING

• Met Toronto mayor Rob Ford by accident - WINNING

• Being proud of having just two friends - WINNING

• I got multiple personality disorder - WINNING

• Just got off the toilet and used only a few sheets of toilet paper - WINNING

• Ordered a pizza and got them to deliver - WINNING

• Won 8-0 TWICE in table soccer against a seven year old - WINNING

• Got a girl pregnant - WINNING

• Eating Broccoli for dinner - WINNING

• Taking one shower a week - WINNING

• Being unsuccessful with online dating - WINNING

• Had Cookie Crisp for breakfast - WINNING

• Purchased a $5 sub - WINNING

• Having no goals in life - WINNING

• Getting rejected by a girl repeatedly - WINNING

• Bringing headphones into a nightclub - WINNING

• Used premium octane in my lawnmower - WINNING

• Enjoy being correct once in a while - WINNING

• Being too cool for high definition television - WINNING

• Finally made someone laugh - WINNING

Dear Charlie Sheen,

It appears I win more than you.

Yours Truly,

Dave

P.S. If you become a fan of me on Facebook, you'll be WINNING as well.