Good Comebacks

Stop the annoying people by using good comebacks. Using these can make you superior. Why would you want to be inferior? I thought of all these with my very own brain. Yes I am special!Person making your mom jokes - Person: Your mom likes old men.
You: Of course she does. They perform better than you!
Chef made you a terrible meal. - Chef: You becoming a vegetarian?
You: Yeah, if you continue to cook!
Person who never stops talking - You: I sure wish I had some masking tape right about now!
- You: Does your mouth use premium fuel only?
- You: You talk more than Michael Jackson in Disneyland!
Woman being approached by a male - Man: Hey, would you like to dance?
Woman: No thanks, I prefer men!
- Man: So why haven't you banged any loser guys yet?
Woman: Cause I've been waiting for you!
- Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Yes & at the same time buy one for all my friends here.
- Man: Hey you're pretty cute!
Woman: I know.
After sex - Woman: Sex was great!
Man: Olive oil would of helped!
Person giving you advice - Person: Do not drink & drive!
You: Alright fine.. I'll drink & crawl.
You got into a car accident from speeding - Person: Learn how to drive!
You: I don't have time!
- Person: Has anyone ever told you that you can't drive?
You: Nope, but your mom said I am a great driver in bed.
Driving standard - Changing gears while turning. - Passenger: Drivers book says you can't change gears while turning.
Driver: Yeah, well it also says you can't speed. But does anyone ever listen?
Sexual - Woman: You suck!
You: No I don’t. That’s your job!
- Man: Give me head!
Woman: No thanks. I always choke when putting small things in my mouth!
Person not feeling too well - Person: I'm getting a funny feeling.
You: It may be gas!
Without good comebacks people will appear defenseless. Remember that!
Leave Good Comebacks Now

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