Home
Funny Blog
Pimp Newsletter
How To Be Funny
Articles
Conversations
Comments
FAQ
Away Messages
Phone Messages
Text Messages
*** Funny Bone ***
Funny Emails
MSN Names
Funny Names
Funny Insults
Jokes
Funny Stories
Poems
Sayings

Subscribe To This Site
XML RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Good Comebacks





Stop the annoying people by using good comebacks. Using these can make you superior. Why would you want to be inferior? I thought of all these with my very own brain. Yes I am special!

Person making your mom jokes

  • Person: Your mom likes old men.
    You: Of course she does. They perform better than you!

Chef made you a terrible meal.

  • Chef: You becoming a vegetarian?
    You: Yeah, if you continue to cook!

Person who never stops talking

  • You: I sure wish I had some masking tape right about now!

  • You: Does your mouth use premium fuel only?

  • You: You talk more than Michael Jackson in Disneyland!

Woman being approached by a male

  • Man: Hey, would you like to dance?
    Woman: No thanks, I prefer men!

  • Man: So why haven't you banged any loser guys yet?
    Woman: Cause I've been waiting for you!

  • Man: Can I buy you a drink?
    Woman: Yes & at the same time buy one for all my friends here.

  • Man: Hey you're pretty cute!
    Woman: I know.

After sex

  • Woman: Sex was great!
    Man: Olive oil would of helped!

Person giving you advice

  • Person: Do not drink & drive!
    You: Alright fine.. I'll drink & crawl.

You got into a car accident from speeding

  • Person: Learn how to drive!
    You: I don't have time!

  • Person: Has anyone ever told you that you can't drive?
    You: Nope, but your mom said I am a great driver in bed.

Driving standard - Changing gears while turning.

  • Passenger: Drivers book says you can't change gears while turning.
    Driver: Yeah, well it also says you can't speed. But does anyone ever listen?

Sexual

  • Woman: You suck!
    You: No I don’t. That’s your job!

  • Man: Give me head!
    Woman: No thanks. I always choke when putting small things in my mouth!

Person not feeling too well

  • Person: I'm getting a funny feeling.
    You: It may be gas!

Without good comebacks people will appear defenseless. Remember that!

Leave Good Comebacks Now


footer for good comebacks page