Good Comebacks

Stop the annoying people by using good comebacks. Using these can make you superior.

Person making your mom jokes

  • Person: Your mom likes old men.
    You: Of course she does. They perform better than you!

Chef made you a terrible meal

  • Chef: You becoming a vegetarian?
    You: Yeah, if you remain a cook.

Person who never stops talking

  • You: I sure wish I had some masking tape right about now.
  • You: Does your mouth operate on premium fuel?

Woman being approached by a male

  • Man: Hey, would you like to dance?
    Woman: No thanks, I prefer men.

  • Man: So why haven't you approached me?
    Woman: Better choices out there.

  • Man: Can I buy you a drink?
    Woman: Yes.. and for my friends as well.

  • Man: Hey you're pretty cute!
    Woman: I know, every guy here told me the same.

After sex

  • Woman: Sex was great!
    Man: Olive oil may have helped!

Person giving you advice

  • Person: Do not drink and drive!
    You: Alright fine.. I'll drive and drink.

You got into a car accident from speeding

  • Person: Learn how to drive!
    You: I don't have time!

  • Person: Has anyone ever told you that you can't drive?
    You: Nope, but your mom said I'm a great one in the bedroom.

Driving standard - Changing gears while turning.

  • Passenger: Drivers book says you can't change gears while turning.
    Driver: Yeah, well it also says you can't speed. But does anyone listen?


  • Woman: You suck!
    You: No I don’t. That’s your job.

Person not feeling too well

  • Person: I'm getting a funny feeling..
    You: It may be gas.

Good Comebacks