Funny Voicemail Messages
Page 2

Here's page 2 of my funny voicemail messages.

Funny Voicemail Messages Which Relate To Nothing

• Luke.. I am your father!

• Hi you’ve reached Dave. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything.

Lying Is Fun

• Hi, this isn’t Dave. You got the wrong number.

• If you’re calling for Dave, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number.

Delivering Pizza?

• Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time!

Hate Answering Your Phone?

• I didn’t answer your call because, well, I didn’t want to.

• Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one!

Want Free Money?

• Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds.

• Hi this is Dave’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. I need to do lots of online shopping.

Funny Voicemail Messages For Showing Off Your Popularity

• Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN!

• Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. NOOOOO!!!

Funny Voicemail Messages If You Hate Telemarketers!

• Hi you have reached Dave and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors.

• Hi, if you're a telemarketer give me your number and I'll call you back. What, you don't want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel!

Make Your Answering Machine A Person

• Hi, I am Dave’s answering machine and he’s annoying me. Everyday he changes his message and I’m sick of his voice. I'm sure his friends are as well!

• Dave is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour each day.