Funny Resumes



Apparently these funny resumes may be able to get you a part time job if the manager has a sense of humor. These were written all thanks to a great guide called How To Be Funny.

Resume #01

Your full name
Address
City, Province/State
Postal

Phone Number
Fax Number



Objective

To work for your amazing company so I can flirt with the hot employee I see when walking by everyday.

Skills and Activities
  • Drinking beer.
  • Watching sports.
  • Flirting with women
  • Getting jobs

Education

Getting Detention
I specialize in making paper airplanes. The furthest I got one to fly was 52.8 ft. and it poked the teacher in the eye.

Playing XBOX
No one in the online multiplayer world can beat me in Halo. You think you can?

Seducing Women
Your hot employee is my next target.

Conclusion

You should hire me because unlike all the other resumes you’ve read, I’m completely honest!


Resume #2

Your full name
Address
City, Province/State
Postal

Phone Number
Fax Number



Objective

To work here for the summer. Currently attending a far away university.

Education

Harvard University - year started – current year
Studying some brainiac topic. Let’s call it polytetrafluoroethylene.

High School - List your own
Without this, I wouldn’t be in university.. duh!

Elementary School - My Basement
My mom taught me 2+2 and that girls have cooties!

Hobbies
  • Lying about my education.
  • Making funny resumes.

Conclusion

You should hire me because I attend Harvard University. At the bar you’ll be able to brag to all your other manager friends that you hired someone from Harvard and they’ll get super jealous! Who knows, they may even buy you a drink. From hiring me you may get promoted to a higher position! Just imagine the possibilities!!


Resume #3

Your full name
Address
City, Province/State
Postal

Phone Number
Fax Number



Objective

To get a job and make money!

Education - None

Past Experience

Nut House
People say I sometimes go coo coo for Cocoa Puffs!

Eating Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes
Well.. They’re GREATTT!!! Tony the tiger is da man!

Jerking Off
Hey, I have to pleasure myself somehow!

Conclusion

My past experiences have given me the knowledge and expertise for your available position. I believe I’ll be a perfect fit for your company. I am a great people person and if you have any hot babes working here, it’ll be a win-win situation for the both of us.

If you want to know more about my past experiences please call me. I would of listed them all but I know it’s smart to keep resumes one page long. Oh yeah, that reminds me.

Education - Keeping resumes one page long.

Thank you


Those were my funny resumes. I may add more in the future. These were written all thanks to a great guide called How To Be Funny.



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