Funny Facts

The following are my funny facts about life.

• People don't find me funny.

• I believed in Santa Claus until he stopped giving me what I wanted.

• If you're upset to see your baby grow, just make another.

• A good majority of Mexicans can be found in Mexico.

• I'm a communist boyfriend. I tell my girlfriend what she's allowed to do.

• Brett Favre is why I bought Wrangler Jeans.

• Intelligent people brag a lot.

• Drunk people talk a lot.

• I want to become a magician. I can make things disappear including my audience.

• Liars don't tell the truth.

• Hiring a hooker is cheaper than getting married.

• Ben Roethlisberger drinks rum with diet coke.

• Bad drivers are the leading cause of car accidents.

• The McDonald's Happy Meal was invented to make people happy.

• The Internet - where everyone is a tough guy

• Puff Daddy looks like a squirrel.

• The province of Ontario is larger than Ontario, California.

• Drinking can get very expensive unless you're already drunk.

• You started life as a baby.

• Everyone is a model.

• Towing companies encourage you to get into car accidents.

• A quarter is worth more than a dime.

• The word "polytetrafluoroethylene" is difficult to spell.

• David Hasselhoff never knows when to quit.

• Being homeless is a good "tax free" career option.

• Straight people go after the opposite sex.

• 2 + 2 equals 4.

• I wish I had fans.