Funny Answering Machine Messages
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• A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I'm R for Recovered!

• A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I'm not here. Leave a message.

• I'm pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!!

You're Lazy?

• I'm probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I'll call back. If you don't hear from me, then it's cause I don't like you!

• I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message.

Funny Answering Machine Messages That Rhyme

• Yo, this is Dave coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton!

• Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Dave who's here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage!

Being Another Character

• If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Dave's girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you'll hear back!

• Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra!

Interesting Funny Answering Machine Messages

• You've reached the countdown.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

• Moan out loud. I’m busy.. working.. out.. leave.. a.. message!

• "Hi you reached your name and I'm not here. Leave a message.. BEEP.." Seconds later say "HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!"

Confused

• Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let's see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Dave you moron, it's right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap!

Complaining

• Back in MY DAY we didn't use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called "Answering Machines" and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot!

• This answering machine is expensive and works like a piece of junk!

Funny Answering Machine Messages Getting Right To The Point

• What the heck do you want!?

• Be sarcastic in this one. This is a funny answering machine message. HAHAHA, I'm laughing hard!

• I'm bored...

• Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I'm with you on this one. I can't stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can't they just get to the point? All they have to say is "Hey I'm not here cause I'm doing important stuff. Leave a message!" Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep.

• I'm horny. Leave me your availability and I'll call back as soon as possible.